You know when you're young and you only think about love and when love lets you down you make all the mistakes you can and you justify them by thinking that this is your way to prove that you're still wanted and desired and beautiful until you find some other love who'll taught some sense into you? And then time goes by, a month or two, and you find out that you'll have to pay for those mistakes and you think it's just gonna be that one trip to the hospital and then it's over, but you should have known better.. Two years later you have to make the same trip, you have to go through the same pain, or worse, you have to go through this one more time.. And it won't be the last.. And the worst part of it all, is not the pain.. It's the fear that maybe this time you got of the hook, maybe this time it's not the uncurable one, but what about the next time? and the time after that? You have to live with the fear that maybe one day that test will be positive, and that one day one trip to the doctor won't be enough.. THAT is the worst of it all.. And as you think about all your mistakes, you feel so bad and guilty and stupid cause you know that even if you went back in time you'd make them again, because your mind was not what it is now..
So maybe i will be the winner this time, but i can't help being afraid of the next one, because there will be a next one..
No comments :
Post a Comment
through your eyes